I must reject

The sprint toward death

And accept the pain of separation

Opening myself up to be a vessel

For God’s goodness to come onto this Earth

I attribute my depression to many factors

but they are heavily activated by this sociopolitical climate

so much of my heart is given everyday to fighting oppression

it’s no wonder at my job I have nothing more to give

how can I

fill the need of the market

this capitalism-created position

this oppression-created career

when I fight it in my daily life

and the suffering is too much for me right now and I 

think and feel too deeply

and I’d rather take down the system that sustains 

the oppression that created the need for this career

how can us with

such tender hearts

do this work?

I suppose to stay in it we must 

love with one eye shut

or work with both eyes open

and let our hearts slowly turn to stone

while I was trying to fix my mental health, I accidentally let in a lot of bullshit

back on my feet, so it’s high time to cut that o u t 

while being gentle with myself, because when we’re suffering we cope in both healthy and unhealthy ways

“So progressive white people frantically read the right books, proclaim adoration of the right thinkers, learn and integrate the right language, buy our kids dolls with varying skin tones, donate to organizations that fight white supremacy, etc.

But you can’t study, consume, or perform your way out of racism.

If you are white, if you’ve been socialized in the United States of America in the 21st century, you are racist. You will be racist until the day you die. There is nothing you can do to escape that fundamental fact.”

“And to know all of that about you, I had to learn how race was invented as a function of capitalism to justify the brutality of genocide and forced free labor. I had to learn how slavery was repurposed into the prison industrial complex and the school-to-prison pipeline. I had to learn how your police force was created to return black people to slavery and maintained to control brown and black populations to manufacture a false sense of white security. I had to learn how the Southern Strategy was able to capitalize on the racism that you dared not see in yourselves, even though we could see it clear as day. I had to learn how the Irish became white when we could not. I had to learn how you could claim to rightfully own stolen land and how you still can today.”

yet another reason why white folx need to call in other white folx and not leave it up to people of color.